[Sexy] Echoes

The list below is resurrected from an old, old email. Works best if you actually read it while you’re in the office, but since this blog is very very very Not Safe For Work, you’ll just have to pretend that you’re sitting at your desk, and everyone around you is quietly working away at Very Serious Tasks, while you consider the doing the following:

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don’t, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were kidding and call them a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting pretend you’re hocking up a loogie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say “BEAT THAT!

7. Inform a male co-worker that he would make a good hooker, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good ass fucking.

6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.

5. Answer every question with ” Fuck if I know…”, then call the person a racial slur that doesn’t even match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty and go around shaking everyone’s hand.

3. Run down the hall with your dick out spraying piss everywhere yelling “It wont stop! God help me, it wont stop!” Then when it does, look down and say, “Oh! I must have broke it.”

2. Ask to borrow a co-worker’s expensive pen- Bring it to the bathroom and stick it up your ass- return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it- when they say that it smells, say “It should - - I had it up my ass!”

1. Shit on your office floor and when someone comes in and sees it tell them it’s the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of real shit, laugh and embarrass them in front of everyone.

There are several women here on Tumblr who frequently post hentai. In case you’re not familiar with hentai, a sample is posted below, courtesy of Hentai-Whore.

What is it about hentai that is so arousing? A well-drawn image can invoke emotions that lie dormant just below the veneer of our everyday selves. Art confronts us… or, to be more precise, it forces us to confront ourselves.

Art — and hentai, in particular — feeds off itself. It draws us in, pulling us into the unreal world of its canvas. All the while, however, another part of our mind is rooted in reality, reminding us of the artist.

Hentai is reminiscent of the classical Japanese print technique of Ukiyo-e: its intricate detail is vivid and exaggerated. Hentai’s focus is on explicit sex: thick, throbbing cocks, plunging into tight pussies…

We look at those details and we can’t help but imagine: how would it feel to inhabit that world? How would it feel to those sensations, to fuck with such reckless abandon, to see every detail of your partner’s body, every drop of sweat, every drop of cum…

We know that the artist was focused on those same thoughts… that the artist, an inhabitant of our own world, the real world, dreamed of these things, felt these feelings… imagined what it would be like, the thrusting, in and out, fucking… feeling that heat, that wetness.

And knowing this, with our minds between two worlds — one vividly real, one more vivid than reality itself — we begin to feel the effects of that art. Physical effects… tangible, physical effects on our bodies. We want it. We want to fuck that way… we become wet, or hard, and we imagine all the things that we see in that art:

The way her breasts sway as she is fucked, the way his cock glistens with the wetness from her tight pussy… the taboo pleasure of her hot little asshole, the cum dripping from his balls, spilling out of her sweet, tight little cunt…

We love experiencing the effect that this art has on us, and we love knowing that others experience it, too… that we touch ourselves, rubbing, pumping… all of it so vivid, until we cum…